How are you choosing to live your life?

To me, life is meant to be a huge learning experience. Some may argue that your life is lived for God or to grow in success… I can dig that, but I choose to live to learn, fight for causes I believe in, and to do what I can to help others.

In the past few years, my priorities have changed. I genuinely believe that the challenges we encounter in life do in fact change a person… Sometimes for the better, other times, if you aren’t careful, these experiences can drag you down. The trick is, to take the hard times as an opportunity to reflect on your life, yourself and role on this planet.

In 2008, the unexpected loss of my best friend’s life was the catalyst for a life change. For over a year, I lost interest in many things: College, other people (excluding those close to me) and the God that I had been brought up to believe in.

It was very difficult to get over the fact that my damn-near perfect, saint of a friend had been taken from this life in such a shitty way, especially when he had spent so much time and energy developing a closer relationship with God. After graduating with a bachelors degree in a promising career field, he chose to devote his life to bringing those within the disabled community closer to Christ.

He never got that chance. He was hit by a car while crossing the street near our shared apartment… On his way to a Christian campus organization event.

This sort of tragedy crumbles the foundation of your life. A God and worldview that kept you safe feels like a sham… A betrayal. No matter how many “God works in mysterious ways” or “He went to Heaven for reasons beyond our capabilities of understanding” explanations I would hear… It still didn’t make sense.

I held onto my religion for awhile as a safety net, but I had already lost much of my previous faith. At first, it wasn’t a conscious decision. I was just angry. Angry at God for allowing this to happen; angry at the campus organization that lured him into their community and thus, the event he died trying to attend.

I continued to lie to myself and others, pretending to still believe in something that was expected by those around me. I held on to the teensiest bit of faith, because a). I was afraid of going to hell, and b). I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for my fading faith.

Around this time, I had confided in a good friend regarding my faith, sadness, etc. We had similar life experiences and could relate to growing up in Christian, Conservative households in a small town. Abstract thinking was frowned upon and even after attending a few years of college, we had both just been introduced to hardships that made us question everything. We were tired of following arbitrary rules; tired of altering ourselves to please others and conform.

Years later, I am still learning and so is she. We have both found our perfect life partners, who have taught us what it means to live for and with another person. For me, Jerry has opened my eyes to ideas and ways of thinking that were very new to me. He encouraged me to challenge my usual ways of thinking, to research all possible viewpoints, and to CHOOSE what to believe in, as opposed to just following what others tell you and what you’re used to.

Finding your true self is an interesting thing: to transform. I am still the same person I was when it comes to interests, personality, etc. I just see things differently. Instead of focusing on what my given religion and societal norms say, I focus my energy on improving the human experience and the well being of myself and others.

I don’t need to follow a book to tell me how to make proper judgements. The world would be a much better place if the health, happiness and well being of others was prioritized.

Treat others in a kind matter and take care of yourself. Learn. Question everything. Respect other’s opinions and choices. Stand up for what you feel is right. Make informed decisions.

I think the goal is to have passion for your life and everything you do. I want to leave this world knowing that I made a difference in someone’s life, that I improved the world in some small way. I want to do what I love, while also benefiting others (check!)
I want to enjoy life with positive, uplifting people who share the same values and can appreciate each other’s quirks and differences (check!)
I want to soak up every piece of information I can. I want to continuously improve myself. (In progress!)

I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have ever been, because I feel true to myself. I am confident with my life choices and am perfectly content (but not stagnant) with my life. I am proud of who I am… Isn’t that the whole point?